


Guilt

by mommyisageek



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:37:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mommyisageek/pseuds/mommyisageek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's fine -- just fine.  So why does she feel guilty?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilt

Guilt.

It’s the first thing she feels in that moment – before the relief, the joy, before anything else takes over, she feels the guilt. And, in that moment, she knows that it will be the last thing she feels at the end of her time.

There will never be another moment in her life where the guilt isn’t there, somewhere, nagging at her brain.

Because her little girl is right there. She can touch her. She’s right there and she’s safe and she’s just fine.

And so many others just…aren’t.

The girl is sobbing, starts slamming her fists into the wall. “Take me back!” She’s screaming through tears, the pain so raw Jackie almost can’t take it. “Take me back! TAKE ME BACK!!!!”

“It’s stopped working.” Pete says from beside her. “He did it. He closed the breach.”

“No!” Rose wails against the wall, fists slamming into it over and over. “No…” she whimpers. “No…”

Jackie can’t do anything but stand there. She has the Doctor to thank for this, as always.

But without the Doctor…well, there’s no telling and she doesn’t want to think about it anymore.

“Rose…” she starts, as the whimpers have died off and Rose just leans against the wall, hands splayed as if she can feels something. Sense something. Or someone.

But Jackie knows he’s not there.

“Rose,” she says again, stepping closer. She doesn’t know what they’ll do, but they’ll figure it out. They always have. And they are, they are a “them” again, together again.

“Five and a half hours,” Rose whispers, so soft Jackie can barely hear and isn’t sure she heard right.

“What?”

“Five and a half hours,” she croaks, looking back to Mickey, her breath catching. “He said we always have to wait five and a half hours.”

“He closed the breach, Rose. He can’t get back through,” Mickey tells her gently, but Rose just shakes her head, turning back and laying her forehead against the wall. She slides to her knees.

“He’ll come back for me. He has to. I need him…”

“Rose,” Pete starts this time.

“Don’t you understand!? I promised him!” Rose screams. “He can’t be alone. I promised him forever…”

Jackie hears Rose’s breath catch again on a sob and crosses over, kneeling beside her. She places a hand on Rose’s back and leans against her, whispering into her hair, like she did when Rose was little.

“Okay, Rose. Five and a half hours. We’ll wait.”

Jackie settles in beside her to wait.

She doesn’t know where they’ll go. Pete will take care of them, that she’s sure of. But she’s not going to think about that just yet because, well, she hasn’t processed that yet.

So she’ll sit here.

And wait for the man that will never come back.

Guilt. Because she’s been there. And knows what Rose is going through. She waited and wished and hoped for Pete to come back for years longer than she really should have. And while she wouldn’t have wished it on anyone, she wished Rose back here, safe, with her.

This is her fault. And she will carry the burden the rest of her life.

Guilt.


End file.
